I Wish I'd Never Left Home

The overnight train from Kiev arrives just after 9 A.M. -- giving you enough time to hurry home, take a quick shower and make it to work before people begin to wonder who's missing.In the cab on my way home from Kievsky train station in January, I was trying to shake a night on the train out of my head. Dully aware of all things I had to do that day, I was really more preoccupied with whether my hot water was back on. But when I got out of the lift, hot water was the least of my problems. The door to my flat was wide open and the lock had been ripped out of the door. I quickly went inside to see what was left of my belongings, but as I looked around things seemed to be pretty much as I had left them several days before.I called work to say that I would be late while I fixed my door -- which amounted to nailing it back together. But before I went to work, I did a more thorough search to see if anything was missing. As far as I could tell, everything was still there.It wasn't until I got home from work later that day that I found out why my flat had been broken into. As I went into the dark living room, I clicked on the lights but nothing happened. That was strange because there is a six-bulb chandelier and it was working before I left for Kiev. So I got out some new light bulbs from the closet and climbed up on a chair to replace the burnt-out bulbs, but when I stuck my hand into the chandelier all the bulbs were gone. They were missing from the kitchen lights as well. Someone had ripped open my door, ignored a portable stereo, a phone and dozens of music tapes among other things, stood on a chair (unless he or she was around 7 feet tall) and stole my light bulbs. The irony of it all is that sitting in the closet was a bag with brand new light bulbs in it.