Men Just Can't Help Themselves, Reader Argues
10 December 1994
In response to "Are All Men Trained at the Same School?" a column by Jean MacKenzie, Oct. 1.
Editor:
Please forgive this delayed response to MacKenzie's intriguing column on misandry.
I read this column with unusual interest. I don't blame MacKenzie for being a misandrist. However, I think her offended reaction to what she calls men's "sexual ethics" deserves further inspection.
I believe that MacKenzie is open-minded and does not hate gay people. So I think that she would be outraged if she knew that a gay man had grown up wanting to have sex with men, and whenever he attempted to do so, was castigated or punished. I think MacKenzie would agree that it is ethical to let the gay man have his sex the way that his chemistry demands it.
Why then does she, and almost every other woman, become vitriolic when she discovers that a man wants to have sex with more than one woman? There is a surfeit of anthropological, zoological and psychological evidence that states categorically that men are programmed to want to have sex with more than one woman. Furthermore, MacKenzie's own personal experience repeatedly supports this. It being the case that the vast majority of men are designed to want to have sex with more than one woman, why are women so surprised?
I wish to point out that MacKenzie's use of the word "ethics" is misapplied. If all women want sex with only one man and all men want sex with more than one woman, are the women implicitly right? Is what they want more "ethical" for some divine reason? Women are constantly chastising and punishing men, not for anything the men did, but simply for the way that men are constructed.
MacKenzie will no doubt respond that men lie. They say they love you, and really they just turn around and say the same thing to another woman later. Of course, this is true.
The fact of the matter is that a woman won't sleep with a man unless he tells her that he loves her, and the drive for sex is strong enough to eventually make the man lie to have it. How many homosexuals have lied about their proclivities in order to protect their need to have sex? Do you think that it was unethical for them to lie in order to avoid punishment? If men could say, "no, I don't particularly love you, but I need you," they would do so, but this is politically unpopular.
These men do not want to lie. They want to sleep with women. Their desire is no less ethical than the construction of the universe.
Name withheld
at reader's request
A Jewish Renaissance
In response to "Time to Light a Candle in the Name of Judaism," a column by Alexander Kan, Dec. 1.
Editor:
Kan's article is well-written and perspicacious, but I disagree with his concluding sentence about the future of Judaism in the countries of the former U.S.S.R. "Chances for revival?" Kan writes, "Most likely, none."
I think that Kan lacks a perspective of Jewish history. Ever since the exodus from Egypt 3,000 years ago, Judaism has survived as a result of the staunch attachment and dogged practice of its religious dictates by a minority of its adherents -- usually no more than 20 percent. Time and again throughout Jewish history -- following the destruction of the First Temple, the Dispersion of the Ten Tribes, the subsequent destruction of the Second Temple, the Crusades, the forced conversions and subsequent expulsion from Spain in 1492, the vicissitudes and persecutions to which Jews have been exposed in every country in which they lived -- those who have continued to carry the torch of their faith always constituted a minority.
Nevertheless, Judaism is and will remain an eternal religion and will continue to renew itself from the dedication and staunch loyalty of a minority of its adherents.
I do agree that for those over 40 who presently live in the various former countries of the former U.S.S.R., the likelihood that their personal Judaism will revive is minimal. Some of those in the 20-40 age group may seek out Judaism's spiritual message when they realize that capitalist materialism no more offers life satisfaction than does Marxist materialism.
Our secret for survival is the young. Today, our children are listening to the religious message of their people in the schools and synagogues that slowly but steadily are springing up in almost every major center of Jewish population in Russia. The Torch will continue to be lit, and it will be passed on to the next generation.
My own conclusion is: "Chances for revival: Excellent."
William G. Stern
Moscow
Editor:
Please forgive this delayed response to MacKenzie's intriguing column on misandry.
I read this column with unusual interest. I don't blame MacKenzie for being a misandrist. However, I think her offended reaction to what she calls men's "sexual ethics" deserves further inspection.
I believe that MacKenzie is open-minded and does not hate gay people. So I think that she would be outraged if she knew that a gay man had grown up wanting to have sex with men, and whenever he attempted to do so, was castigated or punished. I think MacKenzie would agree that it is ethical to let the gay man have his sex the way that his chemistry demands it.
Why then does she, and almost every other woman, become vitriolic when she discovers that a man wants to have sex with more than one woman? There is a surfeit of anthropological, zoological and psychological evidence that states categorically that men are programmed to want to have sex with more than one woman. Furthermore, MacKenzie's own personal experience repeatedly supports this. It being the case that the vast majority of men are designed to want to have sex with more than one woman, why are women so surprised?
I wish to point out that MacKenzie's use of the word "ethics" is misapplied. If all women want sex with only one man and all men want sex with more than one woman, are the women implicitly right? Is what they want more "ethical" for some divine reason? Women are constantly chastising and punishing men, not for anything the men did, but simply for the way that men are constructed.
MacKenzie will no doubt respond that men lie. They say they love you, and really they just turn around and say the same thing to another woman later. Of course, this is true.
The fact of the matter is that a woman won't sleep with a man unless he tells her that he loves her, and the drive for sex is strong enough to eventually make the man lie to have it. How many homosexuals have lied about their proclivities in order to protect their need to have sex? Do you think that it was unethical for them to lie in order to avoid punishment? If men could say, "no, I don't particularly love you, but I need you," they would do so, but this is politically unpopular.
These men do not want to lie. They want to sleep with women. Their desire is no less ethical than the construction of the universe.
Name withheld
at reader's request
A Jewish Renaissance
In response to "Time to Light a Candle in the Name of Judaism," a column by Alexander Kan, Dec. 1.
Editor:
Kan's article is well-written and perspicacious, but I disagree with his concluding sentence about the future of Judaism in the countries of the former U.S.S.R. "Chances for revival?" Kan writes, "Most likely, none."
I think that Kan lacks a perspective of Jewish history. Ever since the exodus from Egypt 3,000 years ago, Judaism has survived as a result of the staunch attachment and dogged practice of its religious dictates by a minority of its adherents -- usually no more than 20 percent. Time and again throughout Jewish history -- following the destruction of the First Temple, the Dispersion of the Ten Tribes, the subsequent destruction of the Second Temple, the Crusades, the forced conversions and subsequent expulsion from Spain in 1492, the vicissitudes and persecutions to which Jews have been exposed in every country in which they lived -- those who have continued to carry the torch of their faith always constituted a minority.
Nevertheless, Judaism is and will remain an eternal religion and will continue to renew itself from the dedication and staunch loyalty of a minority of its adherents.
I do agree that for those over 40 who presently live in the various former countries of the former U.S.S.R., the likelihood that their personal Judaism will revive is minimal. Some of those in the 20-40 age group may seek out Judaism's spiritual message when they realize that capitalist materialism no more offers life satisfaction than does Marxist materialism.
Our secret for survival is the young. Today, our children are listening to the religious message of their people in the schools and synagogues that slowly but steadily are springing up in almost every major center of Jewish population in Russia. The Torch will continue to be lit, and it will be passed on to the next generation.
My own conclusion is: "Chances for revival: Excellent."
William G. Stern
Moscow
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