???‚???°?‚: kickback
I've had a particular interest in the Russian code language for bribe-taking ever since I was asked for a bribe — or more precisely, ???‚???°?‚ (kickback) — and missed the cue. After signing a rent agreement, the representative of the renting organization flashed a smile and said, ?? ???°???µ??????, ?‡?‚?? ???‹ ???µ???? ???‚?±?»?°???????°?€???‚?µ (I hope you'll thank me).
I cheerfully said: ?”?°, ???????µ?‡????! ?????°?????±??! (Of course! Thanks!)
The rep tried again: ????, ???‚?±?»?°???????°?€???‚?? ???°???? (Well, you really should thank me). I noted the prefix ???‚- but still didn't get it. So I went through my repertory of Russian gratitude: ?‘?»?°???????°?€??! (I thank you!) ?? ???‡?µ???? ???€???·???°?‚?µ?»?????°! (I'm very grateful!) ?????°?????±?? ?????€?????????µ! (Thanks so much!) Finally, in desperation, I shouted: ?‘???»???????µ ?‡?µ?»?????µ?‡?µ???????µ ?????°?????±??! (A great big thanks straight from my heart!)
The guy gave up.
Back at the office, when my staff stopped rolling on the floor with laughter, I learned what ???‚?±?»?°???????°?€???‚?? meant: Aren't you going to thank me, wink, wink?
So I was naturally interested in a recent series of publications from Russia's labor ministry explaining in excruciating detail all the no-nos of bureaucratic behavior. The texts are written in a style that I call High Bureaucratism, in which five words are always used when one would suffice. My favorite phrase was ?????·?????¶???‹?µ ?????‚???°?†???? ?????€?€?????†???????????? ???°???€?°???»?µ?????????‚?? (possible situations with a corrupt orientation).
But in one section, the language dropped down to Earth. State workers were helpfully provided with a list of phrases they should eschew in their dealings with the public: ???»?????°, ???‹?€?°?¶?µ?????? ?? ?¶?µ???‚?‹, ?????‚???€?‹?µ ?????????‚ ?±?‹?‚?? ?????????€???????‚?‹ ?????€???¶?°???‰?????? ???°?? ???€???????±?° (???°???‘??) ?? ???°?‡?µ ???·???‚???? (words, expressions and gestures that might be perceived by outsiders as a request [hint] for a bribe). Examples: ???????€???? ?€?µ?????‚?? ?‚?€????????, ???? ?????¶???? (it'll be tough to resolve this issue, but it's possible); ?????°?????±?? ???° ?…?»?µ?± ???µ ???°???°?¶?µ???? (you can't butter bread with thanks); ?????????????€???????? (we can reach an agreement); ?????¶???‹ ?±???»?µ?µ ???µ???????µ ?°?€???????µ???‚?‹ (I need some more convincing arguments); ?????¶???? ???±?????????‚?? ???°?€?°???µ?‚?€?‹ (we have to discuss the parameters); and my favorite: ????, ?‡?‚?? ???µ?»?°?‚?? ?±?????µ??? (so, what are we going to do?)
They were also advised to stop whining about their low pay, their lazy brother-in-law who needs a job or the expense of giving their kid a good education. In the ominous words of the text, this ?????¶?µ?‚ ?????????€?????????°?‚?????? ???°?? ???€???????±?° ?? ???°?‡?µ ???·???‚???? (might be perceived as a request for a bribe).
One of my friends says the whole point of these texts is to help bureaucrats avoid being caught in a sting operation, whether they are sitting in their offices or out on an inspection. That's why there is a section on ???€?????????°?†???? ???? ???‚???€?????‹ ?????»?¶???????‚???‹?… ?»???† ???€?????µ?€???µ?????? ???€???°?????·?°?†???? (provocations from administrators in the organization being inspected). The state workers are advised: ???µ ?????‚?°???»???‚?? ?±?µ?· ???€?????????‚?€?° ???»???¶?µ?±???‹?µ ???????µ?‰?µ??????, ?? ?????‚???€?‹?… ?€?°?±???‚?°???‚ ???€?????µ?€?????‰???µ, ?? ?»???‡???‹?µ ???µ?‰?? (?????µ?¶???°, ?????€?‚?„?µ?»??, ?????????? ?? ?‚. ??.) (do not leave unattended the office or personal possessions, such as clothing, briefcases or purses, where the inspectors are working).
Man, it's tough being a Russian bureaucrat. There you are, trying hard to help a citizen — ???????€???? ?€?µ?????‚?? ?‚?€????????, ???? ?????¶???? — commiserating about the rising cost of living. And then, out of nowhere, the citizen starts throwing cash at you. Because, you know, people are just dying to hand over their hard-earned money to get you to do your job.
?‘?µ?????‹?µ ?‡???????????????? (poor bureaucrats).
Michele A. Berdy, a Moscow-based translator and interpreter, is author of "The Russian Word's Worth" (Glas), a collection of her columns.
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