Ever since Vladimir Putin appointed him in 2013, propagandist-in-chief Dmitry Kiselyov has blamed the U.S. for most of Russia's and the world's misdeeds. His antipathy for the United States even went so far that he once claimed Russia could turn Washington into “radioactive dust” (a comment he later claimed was not meant to be aggressive).
But this weekend, during his weekly Sunday night show, Dmitry Kiselyov changed his tune. Like any other Sunday, he dedicated most of the show to American news. Only this time, he was full of praise for Washington.
“In Russia, there is no real anti-Americanism,” Kiselyov told his viewers.
A few days earlier, Donald J. Trump had won the U.S presidential election — shocking the world, including, one would imagine, Kiselyov.
According to the show, Putin was the only person on Earth not taken aback by the election result. He had called Trump's victory and was the only world leader prepared for radical change in Washington. Russian state television aired footage of Putin's speech at last month's annual Valdai Club conference, in which the Russian president (who has never lost an election) said that “elections are often surprises for power holders and the establishment.”
The World According to Russian State TV: America's Stinking Democracy
Europe, on the other hand, was in total disarray. Kiselyov told viewers that EU leaders had been mocking Trump for months — “but we shall see who gets the last laugh!” He suggested that Europeans should follow Americans and replace their leaders. The populist Alternative For Germany party was, he said, fit to uproot Chancellor Angela Merkel; while Marine Le Pen's Front National would be a good choice for the Elysee. NATO, too, was in a state of panic. In short, Trump had “cracked the global anti-Russian liberal internationale.”
So what exactly was there to be so happy about? Under Donald Trump, said Kiselyov, Washington will finally drop irritating slogans like “democracy” and “human rights,” which had, in fact, driven conflict in the 20th century.
None of this meant that Russia should drop its guard, said the presenter. After all, state TV reminded viewers, Trump is an American – not Russian – president and therefore will have Washington's [not Moscow's] interests at heart. “But,” Kiselyov assured, “Russia has a lot of trust in Trump.”
For the time being, Trump will have to deal with opposition at home before he can even think about what these new relations with Moscow will look like. The Sunday broadcast aired footage of anti-Trump student protests across the U.S, claiming these were violent demonstrations and it is “still unclear” who was behind them. “America wants a Maidan everywhere but in America,” Kiselyov said.
Hillary Clinton, who was referred to throughout the show as “the blonde woman,” might have been behind the protests, he suggested. But she had little to complain about: the likelihood now is that Trump will not put “the blonde woman” behind bars, as he claimed he would during his election campaign. He will “most probably” find it in his heart to forgive her — after all, “Trump has left blonde women satisfied his whole life.”
The person Trump will have least time for, according to Russian state television, is Ukraine's President Petro Poroshenko. The United States, which Russia maintains orchestrated Ukraine's Maidan revolution, will soon forget about Kiev. “U.S. Vice President Joe Biden will no longer be seen there,” Kiselyov said, showing images of a desperate-looking Poroshenko.
The world today, the show concluded, is “like a Gogol novel.”