Giving Flowers? Beware of Some Thorny Issues

In few places are the risks associated with giving flowers greater than in Russia. Not only can an ill-considered bouquet lead to accusations of bad taste or excessive romantic zeal, it can also unintentionally signal a death wish.


Cheese and bread -- once standard Slavic gifts -- were a lot safer. It was not until the end of the 17th century that cultivated flowers were introduced in Russia -- by Peter the Great, who brought roses back from France. Flowers soon became a status symbol, which the wealthy were eager to grow.


Today, with arrays available all over town, nothing could be simpler than buying a bunch of posies. Except, that is, for the rules.


Knowing which flowers, and how many to give whom and when, has been a delicate and complicated matter ever since the tradition began. Age and gender are vital -- as is the occasion.


Give an older woman lilies or roses, preferably of a darker shade; a girl, white or pale pink roses, and a man, dark roses, carnations or anthuriums.


But even if an older woman receives bright yellow roses, she may look askance at the giver, but it's unlikely that she'll turn them down.


"There are no flowers that can offend anyone," insists Galya Yakovleva, who has been selling them for six years at the Pushkinskaya metro station.


There is, however, one exception. Never give a living person an even number of flowers, as this symbolizes death and is reserved strictly for funerals. For funerals, go for dark red roses, chrysanthemums and red carnations.


At Moscow's Vaganskoye cemetery, the dead have been graced with large numbers of elaborate plastic arrangements. But according to Yuri Smirnov, who works at the cemetery's flower shop, this is only because real ones would freeze.


Smirnov complained that the bereaved are often overcharged at other flower outlets. "Burying is not a trade, it's a ritual," he said, "Why does someone going to a funeral have to spend so much money? Everyone should be able to buy flowers at a funeral." His flowers range from about 800 to 1,000 rubles per stem.


But even at stands such as Yakovleva's, where all the flowers are imported from Holland and Ecuador and a rose costs between 5,000 and 13,000 rubles, the most expensive, with the long stems, are by far the most popular. And no matter how high the cost of living has become, Yakovleva says people are buying more flowers than ever.


And they remain unabashed about presenting them. At the theater, for example, it is common for audience members to take flowers to the stage for a favorite performer. "I've been observing the theater since my childhood," said Bolshoi spokesman Alexander Kolesnikov. "And many, many things have changed here since then. But the flowers are the one thing that remain the same."


But outside the Bolshoi, floral trends come and go. Not only roses with superlong stems, but also anthuriums and gerbera daisies are among the many that have only recently become popular.


Despite all the flowers available, choosing what to give can still be a grueling procedure.


"It's a very delicate matter," said a flustered Valery Kirilovich when asked how he was choosing a bouquet for his 15th anniversary. "I thought I knew what I wanted until I saw all of these, and now I see so many that I don't know what to do. But I'm not going to rush."


Instead, he simply walked off, looking confused.