The Start of Something Better
06 March 1994
By Meg Bortin
"What do women want?" If the bearded old man who asked that question many years ago were to make a visit to Moscow today, he might be surprised by some of the answers. For women in Russia in 1994 are heading into an era of vastly increased opportunities, despite all the hardships and uncertainty in their lives.
With this special Women's Day issue, The Moscow Times takes a look at the status of women today in all walks of life. How are women coping in the new Russia? We have all heard a lot about biznesmeny recently, but what about biznesmenki, the female of the species? What are some of the stereotypes women here have to fight as they acquire the new confidence that comes with greater freedom? And do today's Russian women have anything good to say about their lives?
In fact, they do. Much of this issue is devoted to problems, but we decided to investigate the brighter side as well. When asked what they enjoy about their lives in Moscow today, women questioned in an informal survey came up with a wide range of hidden bonuses -- from greater sexual freedom to greater earning power -- that have accompanied the end of communism and the opening up of society.
Take the case of Marya, the 39-year-old mother of a teenage daughter. A white-collar employee of a Western firm, she recited a long list of troubles shared by most Russian women: fatigue, overwork, money worries, "so many problems." But then, looking vaguely startled at her own thoughts as the words tumbled out, she gave voice to new hope.
"We have started to feel better about ourselves," Marya said. "I understand now that I can do something with my life, on my own. When we were growing up, everything around us -- films, literature, everything -- told us that our duty was to serve our husband. Everything has changed now.
"When I was in school," Marya went on, "I had four close friends. We met at the university and lived together. Later we all married. Today, all five of us have realized that our husbands are incapable of getting anything done. Four of the five have started working, and we all earn five to 10 times more than our husbands.
"We started making money and being able to spend it as we saw fit," she said. "And we also began respecting ourselves a bit more."
Marya is not alone. Older and younger women, too, see hope as they look to the future.
"Women now have much more freedom," says Alexandra, 62, who worked for many years in state education and now supplements her meager pension by giving language lessons.
"The main thing is that a woman today may choose her own fate," she said. "This is very important in Russia. Previously, our choices were always limited by external conditions. A Russian woman never had the possibility to define her own life -- it was always defined by society.
"Now young women have much more choice -- they can decide where and how to work, and have greater financial freedom. They also have the opportunity not to work if their husband makes a good living.
"For the first time, I have the impression that Russian women have the possibility to be autonomous -- this is true for the first time in this country's history."
For Sonya, 31, the fruits of autonomy go beyond the professional; they touch her private life. In particular, the decline of the police state has given her more freedom to see the people she chooses to see -- and to date Western men if she pleases -- without fear of being followed or harassed.
"Nobody watches you anymore," Sonya said, suppressing a smile. "Before, if you were walking somewhere with a man who looked foreign, the police would come up and demand to see your passport. They would ask whether you had the right to be with that person.
"Now I can go out with whomever I want and not be afraid. This is a very good thing for women. And in general, I feel now that our sexual life is more relaxed. Maybe somebody is watching but I don't feel scared. It expands my opportunities."
Other women find liberation in the more mundane facts of life.
"I like it that we now can think about having as much as Western women do, the same kind of lifestyle: being able to travel, having nice clothes and not feeling inferior in terms of money," says Zhenya, 21.
"As a homemaker I enjoy the fact that at last we have everything in our shops," says Anastasia, 47. "I don't have to waste my time anymore looking for simple things."
And what about the less simple things? What -- as Freud might have rephrased his question if he could be here today -- do Russian women want?
The same, of course, as women the world over.
"We want love," said Anastasia. "A good family, good children. We want the political and economic situation to allow these things. When I am confident about my future, when I am at peace, I can think about love. If I am not at peace, I have no time for such thoughts."
"We want to be loved," said Marya, "we want to look good, be loved, and have a normal family. And we would like to work for our own satisfaction, not just for money."
"What do Russian women want?" said Rima, 25, who just got engaged to be married. "Love, love everywhere. Security for our families, for our children. We want to be happy -- like women everywhere."
With this special Women's Day issue, The Moscow Times takes a look at the status of women today in all walks of life. How are women coping in the new Russia? We have all heard a lot about biznesmeny recently, but what about biznesmenki, the female of the species? What are some of the stereotypes women here have to fight as they acquire the new confidence that comes with greater freedom? And do today's Russian women have anything good to say about their lives?
In fact, they do. Much of this issue is devoted to problems, but we decided to investigate the brighter side as well. When asked what they enjoy about their lives in Moscow today, women questioned in an informal survey came up with a wide range of hidden bonuses -- from greater sexual freedom to greater earning power -- that have accompanied the end of communism and the opening up of society.
Take the case of Marya, the 39-year-old mother of a teenage daughter. A white-collar employee of a Western firm, she recited a long list of troubles shared by most Russian women: fatigue, overwork, money worries, "so many problems." But then, looking vaguely startled at her own thoughts as the words tumbled out, she gave voice to new hope.
"We have started to feel better about ourselves," Marya said. "I understand now that I can do something with my life, on my own. When we were growing up, everything around us -- films, literature, everything -- told us that our duty was to serve our husband. Everything has changed now.
"When I was in school," Marya went on, "I had four close friends. We met at the university and lived together. Later we all married. Today, all five of us have realized that our husbands are incapable of getting anything done. Four of the five have started working, and we all earn five to 10 times more than our husbands.
"We started making money and being able to spend it as we saw fit," she said. "And we also began respecting ourselves a bit more."
Marya is not alone. Older and younger women, too, see hope as they look to the future.
"Women now have much more freedom," says Alexandra, 62, who worked for many years in state education and now supplements her meager pension by giving language lessons.
"The main thing is that a woman today may choose her own fate," she said. "This is very important in Russia. Previously, our choices were always limited by external conditions. A Russian woman never had the possibility to define her own life -- it was always defined by society.
"Now young women have much more choice -- they can decide where and how to work, and have greater financial freedom. They also have the opportunity not to work if their husband makes a good living.
"For the first time, I have the impression that Russian women have the possibility to be autonomous -- this is true for the first time in this country's history."
For Sonya, 31, the fruits of autonomy go beyond the professional; they touch her private life. In particular, the decline of the police state has given her more freedom to see the people she chooses to see -- and to date Western men if she pleases -- without fear of being followed or harassed.
"Nobody watches you anymore," Sonya said, suppressing a smile. "Before, if you were walking somewhere with a man who looked foreign, the police would come up and demand to see your passport. They would ask whether you had the right to be with that person.
"Now I can go out with whomever I want and not be afraid. This is a very good thing for women. And in general, I feel now that our sexual life is more relaxed. Maybe somebody is watching but I don't feel scared. It expands my opportunities."
Other women find liberation in the more mundane facts of life.
"I like it that we now can think about having as much as Western women do, the same kind of lifestyle: being able to travel, having nice clothes and not feeling inferior in terms of money," says Zhenya, 21.
"As a homemaker I enjoy the fact that at last we have everything in our shops," says Anastasia, 47. "I don't have to waste my time anymore looking for simple things."
And what about the less simple things? What -- as Freud might have rephrased his question if he could be here today -- do Russian women want?
The same, of course, as women the world over.
"We want love," said Anastasia. "A good family, good children. We want the political and economic situation to allow these things. When I am confident about my future, when I am at peace, I can think about love. If I am not at peace, I have no time for such thoughts."
"We want to be loved," said Marya, "we want to look good, be loved, and have a normal family. And we would like to work for our own satisfaction, not just for money."
"What do Russian women want?" said Rima, 25, who just got engaged to be married. "Love, love everywhere. Security for our families, for our children. We want to be happy -- like women everywhere."
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