You can forgive a travel story many things, but not telling fibs. How many times have you bought a travel magazine because it has promised a good informative story about Russia? If you live here or are visiting you know there is big difference between what you read and what you get.Travel stories about St. Petersburg are usually the worst. Venice of the North, they all proclaim. Pictures of palace interiors adrip with treasures follow over several pages. Come and see the historic splendor of the tsars (but ignore the poverty of the villages around the palaces, it fails to add). Come and eat like a king (in restaurants where you personally know at least three people who have been ill over the past year).At least we can all agree on the hotels. They are lovely. But they cost an arm a leg and half a liver each night you stay. Plus tax.St. Petersburg does have sumptuous palaces, and good restaurants, but when you live in Moscow you probably will travel north more than once in your stay. The following information is especially tailored for people who want a more realistic guide. As a weekend break, St. Petersburg is easy and quick. And best of all, you can stay at a great bed and breakfast for less than the cost of an espresso on Nevsky Prospekt.St. P on the cheap. Get a decent haircut on Sunday, work out in the gym at the Palace Hotel, spend all day in caf?s and restaurants at the Grand Hotel Europe, avoid the Literature Cafe like the plague, and don't go to the Hermitage. You won't get food poisoning, won't be eaten by bedbugs, and you won't be disappointed. As you can see, not the sort of thing the glossy magazines would promote.All the prices below are quoted in dollars which you can pay with credit card, otherwise you must pay the ruble equivalent in cash.First the Saturday sauna and soak at the Palace. Now this is not a promise, because according to the hotel rules, non-guests can't use the fitness center, but if you can wangle it, you are in for a treat. This is the best little fitness club in town. Situated on the top floor of the Nevsky Palace Hotel, 57 Nevsky Prospekt. (Tel. 812-113-1470). The price for a visit (there is no time limit) to the club is just $12, plus 20 percent VAT. Plan on spending a lazy morning there, or have a quiet night in the pool, the center is open from 8 A.M. to 10 P.M., and includes sauna, solarium ($5 for 15 minutes) a whirlpool, a small fitness room, health bar and massage room ($30 for one hour, $15 for half hour). Best of all, from the balcony you get one of the best views of the city. Your chances on getting in depend on the goodwill of the hotel's room division manager, Theodore Kubak. Call him at the hotel as soon as you arrive and book a time. Without his permission you can't get in. Your chances in this low season are better than in summer. Now for the haircut. S-studio Hair Design is the new salon that has opened in the shopping complex beside the Nevsky Palace Hotel (Tel. 275-2001). The salon is open from 9 A.M. to 9 P.M. daily, including Sundays, so you have no excuse. The price is not cheap, but they are confident cutters and stylists. Women's haircut and blow-dry, $30-$36, men's cut and blow-dry $24, payment by credit card or rubles.For those who have come to the city for some serious R & R, nothing beats the thrill of spending hours lingering over coffee and cakes at the Mezzanine Cafe at the Grand Hotel Europe (Tel. 119-6000). If you are traveling with friends or relatives who insist on sightseeing, drop them off, then race back here and spend the rest of the day ensconced in newspapers, letter-writing and a book. By the time they have come back, frozen and famished from a day outdoors, move down to the lower bar for a sherry or pre-dinner ale.If you really must go sightseeing, do it in style. The Grand Hotel Europe offers an excellent personal tour guide service that is also available to non-guests. Call the travel desk one day in advance at 119-6000 and book a minivan and guide in the language of your choice. They will pick you up from your own apartment if you wish and drop you back. The prices are better if you go in a group. Payment is by credit card at the hotel. A day trip to Peterhof palace for a group of three to five people is $48 per head. For two people $60 per head, and for one, $96. A trip to both Pavlovsk and Pushkin is the same as the above prices. A trip to either Pavlovsk or Pushkin is $35 per head for a party of three to five, $44 per head for two people and $74 for one. As far as actually getting to St. Petersburg is concerned, the best and cheapest method is by overnight train. You can sometimes get deals for less than $30 round trip on the dozens of trains that leave every night. The first-class carriages are affectionately called The Gas Chambers, due to the extraordinary publicity given to the occasional thieves who are supposed to pump sleeping gas into the carriages and rob the sleeping passengers.If you want to travel without spending the night terrified of thieves, take precautions.1. Use a strong belt to fasten the door to the metal handle beside it. Make it a tight fit.2. Top left is a safety latch. Flip it up and using a cork you have trimmed to size wedge it in. That way no one can flip the latch down from the outside using a knitting needle.3. Use the safety chain and door lock if they are working.4. Don't open the door to anyone. After you have given your ticket and paid for the sheet rental, no one should disturb you until you the conductor passes 30 minutes before you arrive in St. Petersburg with a steaming glass of tea. The old trick is for someone to say "Militsia" or "Customs" and hope you will open the door. There is no customs or militia control.5. If all this fails and you are still nervous, sleep with one eye open.6. If you are really worried, buy four second class tickets, but use the same safety precautions. There may be less chance of thieves in second class. If, on the return journey, your conductor declares your tickets are not in order and demands an extra fee, accept you are being ripped off but, above all, get on the train to your compartments. Then argue. The conductor is just trying you on for a bribe. Pay if you must, but don't give up your seats.Once you are there you can stay at the Grand Hotel Europe and the Palace Hotel, which offer special weekend rates. But as much as you may love grand hotels, most bank managers don't. If you are only going to St. Petersburg once in your life, stay at these hotels. Otherwise try the bed and breakfast or hostel alternative.Best of the lot is the private home of Irina and Marina Ledneva, at 812-272-7847. Situated on Prospekt Chernyshevskovo, one metro stop from the Moscow train station and very accessible to the center. The apartment is large, clean and comfortable. It sleeps five people: two in one room and three in another on large, comfortable beds.Irina is a clinical psychologist who speaks excellent English and has found that her real job has become "just a hobby" compared to her bed and breakfast business. In summer she and her mother receive waves of tourists off the Trans-Siberian railway (the apartment is booked out every day from July to the end of August, thanks to the word of mouth recommendations of travelers). In winter, the pace is much quieter. Call a week or two in advance, tell them your train and wagon number and you will be met at the train. The price per person per night is $10 and breakfast (a delicious hearty meal that puts any breakfast spread to shame) is $2.Call also Michael Meuret (Tel. 812-528-2760), an American who has had great success offering apartments in the city for reasonable prices. The American Youth Hostel, at 277-0569, offers winter discounts upon presentation of The Moscow Times classified ads page when their advertisement appears.Orientation Best map of St. Petersburg is The New St. Petersburg City Map and Guide, a deep red map that costs around the equivalent of $12. It includes all the latest name changes, hotels, good shops, museums, nightclubs, restaurants and embassies. Buy it from Dom Knigi on the second floor for rubles, or from hotel desks. There are plenty of maps available from kiosks or speculators on the street, but they are not updated to include the new name changes.Money Charge it. Most places where you will eat take credit cards. There is plenty to spend your money on if you are keen on antiques and souvenirs and books. If you are staying at the bed and breakfast you pay cash. The Grand Hotel Europe has an American Express office, but it is closed weekends. Weekdays you can change money, cash travelers checks and, if you are lucky, get cash. Bring your bank checks with you. If you are booking a tour with the Grand Hotel Europe, you can pay the day before with a credit card. Saves shelling out on cash.Food Bring bottled water for the train journey and your stay. The water is undrinkable. Bottled water can also be bought in supermarkets here.Pubs and Bars Chaika: big on sleaze at night, good place around 5 P.M. for German beer and smoky atmospheric meals. 14 Griboyedova Canal. Grand Hotel Europe: Best bars for waiting out the evening before your train back. The caf? on the mezzanine is best for escaping the weather. 1/7 Ulitsa Mikhailovskaya.Nightclubs Nevsky Melody: if you must see (yawn) a strip show on Saturday night and spend bucks at the casino you might as well come here. 62 Sverdlovskaya Naberezhnaya. Palace for Free If you can't take the crowds at the Hermitage or you have arrived on a Monday and all the museums are shut, why not nip into the palace at 5 Ulitsa Furmanova and enjoy a glimpse of aristocratic life for free. The palace belonged to Tsar Alexander II's mistress, Yekaterina Ureyevskaya, who was given the palace in the mid-nineteenth century and lived here until her lover -- later her husband -- was assassinated in 1881. Open every day from 9 A.M to 7 P.M.Shops Start at one end of Nevsky Prospekt and start cruising. Many of the stores you could possibly want are situated between the Nevsky Palace Hotel and the river. Watch the early closing hour on Saturday. Some stores close around 4 P.M. Art 20, 20 Nevsky Prospekt. Open 10 A.M. to 7 P.M. Lunch break 2 P.M. to 3 P.M. Saturday 10 A.M. to 6 P.M. Pretty inexpensive art prints by local artists.Also old postcards and prerevolutionary bank notes. Dom Knigi. 28 Nevsky Prospekt. Hot and steamy because of the crush of shoppers; useful map department on the second floor.Antikvariat. 54 Nevsky Prospekt. Tel. 311-4020. Open 11 A.M. to 6 P.M. Monday to Saturday. Popular with Finnish antique dealers. The porcelain is pretty, don't miss the furniture room at the back.Passazh Department Store. 48 Nevsky Prospekt. St. Petersburg porcelain is famous the world over, more for kitsch than anything else. Stock here is cheaper than in Moscow. Don't miss the tacky souvenirs. Those flashing red Kremlin stars are still in stock.Lena Fine Furs. 50 Nevsky Prospekt. Open every day 10 A.M. to 9 P.M. Tel. 312-4032You can probably only afford the muffs. But the hats and outrageously expensive coats are a must-see. Over-friendly staff.Art Shop. 52 Nevsky Prospekt. 10 A.M. to 7 P.M. Monday to Saturday. Lunch break 2 to 3 P.M. Large store with a very strong range of books, prints, posters and paintings.Farfor. 62 Nevsky Prospekt. Open 10 A.M. to 7 P.M. Monday to Saturday. Lunch break 2 P.M. to 3 P.M. Same stock as Passazh, but there is a bigger selection here. They also sell crystal glasses and Khakhloma wooden bowls.Lancome. 10 A.M. to 7 P.M. Monday to Saturday. Lunch break 2 P.M. to 3 P.M.In general, not a bargain. The moisturizing cream and last year's lipsticks are still good value.