On your mark. Get set. Shop.


It was the stuff that sitcoms are made of. Three families, three shopping carts, and three minutes to buy as much as possible. What was touted as Russia's first promotional shopping spree was held Tuesday at the Arbat Irish House, beginning promptly at 9:30 A.M., with the Korilins, the Martinovs, and the Mukhametyanovs each poised with their baskets between produce and frozen foods.


But when the clock started ticking it was clear these three Russian families have not spent much time watching re-runs of Dennis the Menace or Beat the Clock. Where were the overeager contestants screaming and jumping up and down? Where were the silent but driven contenders ploughing through the aisles with one mission and one mission only, to consume, consume consume? Not here. When the clock started running they took off at little more than a stroll, slowly but surely filling their carts with name brands, frozen foods, sides of beef. The children helped out, adding an occasional box of cookies or stuffed animal to the loot, but even they were remarkably self-restrained. After three minutes the families met at the check-out counters, with their carts full and their dignity intact.


"I don't like to worry," said Marina Korilina, one of the contestants, whose family -- with more than $800 in groceries, rang in as the winner. The Korilins managed to outshop their competitors by nearly $200. "At first I didn't really like the idea, but then we decided to look at it as a kind of sporting event."


Indeed, the sponsors of the spree had a hard time finding "typical" Russian families -- two children and two parents were required -- who were able and willing to participate in the event. Several families declined the invitation to shop for free before the three contenders finally were found.


"At first I thought it was kind of strange," said Ravil Mukhametyanov, another contestant, "but for three minutes I can do just about anything."


Perhaps there were more zealous participants in Miami, or Madrid, or any of the half dozen other cities across the globe where the same shopping spree took place to launch the first issue of Colors 9, a new publication by Benetton about consumerism around the world.


The theme of Colors, apparently, is that consumerism is that lowest common denominator that unites mankind. But a quick glance through the first issue makes it clear that Benetton puts more stock in shock value than global understanding. Listed in the 130-page shopper's catalog are personalized coffins, designer handguns, nipple covers, penis extenders -- even human organs stolen from the bodies of unsuspecting victims. Skin whiteners from South Africa. Virginity restoration surgery from Venezuela. Moscow shoppers may take special notice of the bullet-proof mink.


"We found out that everything -- and everyone -- has its price," write the editors of Colors. A charming theme, indeed, for the upcoming holiday season.


To soften this blatant consumerism, Colors and the Irish House, in the spirit of the season, donated $5,000 to Novy Dom, a Moscow charity that will use the funds to distribute clothing to the homeless.


An additional $1,000 was given to the Korilins -- an additional reward for winning the shopping spree. Not bad for three minutes of work.


But the Korilins barely batted an eye when the sponsors presented them with the check, reacting with as much calm and dignity as they displayed filling their cart with goods.


Nor were they about to let their winnings obscure their take on the purpose of such an event. "Benetton and I have the same goal in this contest," said Sergei Korilin, who is an artist. "We both want advertising."


Maybe their excitement level rose once they got their dozens of bags of groceries home. "I don't even know what's in there," said Sergei, "but how are we going to get it all home?"