The weather has really been disgusting lately. Rain, snow, sleet, all bulleting down from every direction and making life on the sidewalk sheer hell. And then, as if there wasn't quite enough precipitation flying through the air already, you've got all that spitting going on. It's worse than dodging bullets.


The fine Russian tradition of spitting seems to pick up a bit in the wintertime. Maybe it's just that the unmistakable hechhh-plop noise that accompanies it is especially resonant in the sharp winter air. Maybe it's that the men who do it tend to wear bright wool overcoats and simply stand out more when the background is grey. Or maybe it really lies in the explanation that Russian men offer in their defense when caught in the act: They don't want to get congested.


Who does? But not everyone resorts to fits of expectorating in order to lighten their lungs. Women and children don't do too much spitting here, and they probably get just as congested as everyone else. And certain men restrain themselves as well. These people typically don't blow their nose on the street, either. Could it actually be that they are less healthy than their spitting, snorting compatriots?


But there's much more to spitting, of course, than this claimed allegiance to personal health. This isn't a matter of a bronchitis-free winter, this is a matter of manliness and true grit. Spitting is pure lifestyle statement. I'm cool, it says, I'm there. I'm smart enough to be disgusted by all I see, I'm generous enough to share my feelings with those around me. And I haven't coughed in months!


The more repressed among us can get satisfaction out of the mere phrase: Mnye na eto plevat', or "I spit on this," a nice, bilious way of saying you don't give a damn about the particular question at hand. But for many, words are not enough. Or perhaps, on the other hand, they're too much, just a little too complex to wrap your lips around in a moment when disgust and apathy with this little world is overwhelming you. Much easier to wrap your lips around a delicate dab of saliva and send it flying in the appropriate direction.


Many men are masters of the meaningful eye contact/turn-and-spit method of communication. I look at you and immediately I have an uncontrollable urge to spit, they are saying.


Then there are the men who find it necessary to spit directly after having gotten out of their car, or just before getting back in. This place was disgusting when I got here, they are saying, and it's even more disgusting now that I am leaving! I spit on it twice! Sooner or later, we can only hope, these guys are going to lose their rhythm and accidentally spit while still inside their car. That'll teach them a lesson.