In the Spotlight: Winter Olympics

This week, even the most sport-phobic person couldn’t avoid hearing that Russia took part in an event involving luge, curling and skeleton. And that, frankly, it needs to try harder.

Channel One turned over its weekend comedy shows “ProjectorParisHilton” and “Mult Lichnosti” to a satirical discussion of the Winter Olympics. At least some of the jokes were funny, but the meaning behind them was deadly serious.

After a politically incorrect tirade at the “girly” U.S. male figure skating team, the channel moved on to a brilliant Soviet war movie spoof with Prime Minister Vladimir Putin and President Dmitry Medvedev. They caught a Norwegian biathlete in their sniper sights and condemned the local Olympic chief as a “traitor.”

In Saturday’s episode of the improvised comedy show, “ProjectorParisHilton,” the comedians placed the blame firmly on the Russian organizers.

Leonid Tyagachyov, president of the Russian Olympic Committee — who has subsequently resigned — spent too much time partying, they quipped.

“He’s with the sportsmen all the time, 24 hours a day, at the Russian House,” comedian Garik Martirosyan said in a spoof newscast, referring to the Russian team’s party center in Vancouver.

Tyagachyov took “direct part” in the Olympics by organizing competitions in throwing pencils at bottles and counting walnuts by sitting on them, he added.

The head of the International Olympic Committee made several official visits to the Russian House, Martirosyan boasted — to ask them to turn the music down.

Meanwhile, former Olympic figure skater Anton Sikharulidze laid into the organizers for being old stick-in-the-muds.

Responding to a comment by figure skating star Irina Rodnina that Olympic officials in the Soviet era would never have brought their wives and mistresses to a sports event as they do now, he said, “It’s the same functionaries. It’s just that back then they weren’t married.”

Asked if the Russian Olympic officials speak either of the games’ official languages, English and French, he answered briefly in English: “No.”

The comedians on the improvised show also focused on U.S. male figure skaters with some very unsubtle gay bashing.

They ridiculing Johnny Weir’s hand gestures and the heart-shaped cushion that he clutched as the marks were read out. Meanwhile, Evan Lysacek was “the only contestant who started crying before his performance,” said Sergei Svetlakov, adding that: “Things have got out of control. We need real men.”

Sikharulidze looked somewhat uncomfortable but responded by saying he might give up his State Duma post as chairman of the Physical Culture and Sport Committee and return to skating.

In Sunday’s episode of “Mult Lichnosti,” a satirical animated show, the best sketch saw Medvedev and Putin hiding beside a snowy track, peering through a rifle range finder, as mournful balalaika music played in the style of war films about Belarussian partisans.

“When will this damned Vancouver end?” Medvedev asks. “It’s broken so many lives, crippled them.”

“Sssh, the Germans are coming,” Putin warns, before relaxing. “No, it’s a Norwegian.” They hear gunfire: “Did you hear? They missed. It’s our side,” Putin whispers.

As a panting figure looms into sight, they whisper, “It’s one of us,” and ski up to him with pats on the back and encouragement, before leaving him to ski on alone. “What about you?” the sportsman asks. “We’ll cover your back — we’ll definitely cover you,” Putin reassures him. “And pass on to our side, don’t believe in Tyagachyov — he’s a traitor,” Medvedev flings a parting shot.

After that, they turn around. “Ah, Bjoerndalen,” they exclaim, referring to a Norwegian biathlete. And aim their rifles.

I don’t know if the makers of “Mult Lichnosti” have a direct line to the Kremlin — although many people would argue that Channel One does. But the next day, Medvedev said Olympic officials should “resign, or if they can’t, we will help them.”