Challenging the widespread notion about the inherent goodness of man, passengers of a suburban train outside Moscow stole the luggage and finished the beer of a man who fell of the train, media reported.
The unlucky passenger was keeping the door of the moving train car open to get some fresh air in the unventilated vestibule, the Moskovsky Komsomolets tabloid said.
He eventually dropped out at a turn in the road, leaving behind an unfinished beer, two car bumpers and a screw gun.
Train officials ignored requests to pick up the man's belongings, the daily said on Friday.
This allowed an unnamed male passenger to finish the beer and make away with the bumpers and the power tool before train officials came.
"I'm not giving it to the driver, he'll just keep it to himself. I'm not like that, I'm giving to my friends at a car repair," the thief was cited as saying.
No information was immediately available on the fate of the unlucky dropout.
Deepening the irony, the incident took place in the notorious "alcoholic train" running from Moscow to the town of Petushki, 120 kilometers to the east.
The train was immortalized in the prose poem "Moscow-Petushki" (1973) by Venedikt Yerofeyev, which is considered by many critics to be the pinnacle of post-Soviet Russian literature.
The postmodernist, quasi-autobiographic text describes a philosophizing alcoholic's journey to Petushki, curtailed by excessive libation.
At one point, the protagonist is robbed of his booze, though, unlike in the real life, he manages to track down the perpetrators.