When I was studying Russian in college, there were two distinct schools of thought among my fellow students on how best to prepare for oral exams. A daring minority wouldn't even think of entering the exam room without first "loosening their tongues" with one or two stiff shots of vodka. Others, more conservatively, would dip into the language's own toolbox and come up with the natural way to loosen up -- the tongue twister, or skorogovorka.


The skorogovorka also has the charm of being a folk art form in itself, and any foreigner can take great delight in playing amateur ethnographer by collecting them in all their rich and diverse variations. In just a few days of polling my Russian friends, for instance, I came up with no fewer than four distinct versions of one common tongue twister.


Russian has everything it takes to create a world-class body of tongue twisters. Common words like vzglyad (glance) or mstit' (to take revenge) are in themselves enough to test anyone's tongue. Add to that Russian's ability to create almost unlimited forms and neologisms, plus centuries of long winter nights with nothing but the language, one's wits and a bottle of vodka for company, and you have the complete recipe for some tongue-numbing skorogovorki.


Russian's equivalent of "She sells seashells ... " is Shla Sasha po shosse i sosala sushku (Sasha walked along the highway and sucked a cracker). Another simple and very common one is Karl u Klary ukral korally, a Klara u Karla ukrala klarnet (Karl stole some coral from Klara, and Klara stole a clarinet from Karl). Such skorogovorki are the basic ones that every schoolchild learns.


But the very best ones really are little poems in themselves, with plots and characters, as well as exasperating oral contortions. Yekhal greka cherez reku. Vidit greka: V reke rak. Sunul greka ruku v reku. Rak za ruku greku -- tsap! (A Greek was riding across a river. The Greek sees: In the river there's a lobster. The Greek stuck his hand in the river. The lobster grabs the Greek's hand!).


Idyot kozyol s kosoi kozoi. Idyot kozyol s bosoi kozoi. Idyot koza s kosym kozlom. Idyot koza s bosym kozlom (A billy goat is walking with a cross-eyed nanny goat. A billy goat is walking with a barefoot nanny goat. A nanny goat is walking with a cross-eyed billy goat. A nanny goat is walking with a barefoot billy goat).


And finally, my personal favorite, the one that saw me through my Russian 301 final: Chetyre chyornenkikh chumazen'kikh chertyonka chertili chyornymi chernilami chertyozh cherezvychaino chisto (Four little black, dirty-faced little devils drew a blueprint with black ink extremely well).


Try that one three times fast, but only after a couple of shots to "loosen your tongue."