Russian scientists say they have discovered the elixir of life. In fact not just one but 22 different preparations that can lengthen your life by 30-40 percent, according to an article in Izvestia on Thursday.


The preparations, known as citomedinas, regulate the body's amino acids. They are said to improve the function of body organs and tissue, preventing the failure of old organs by sending information to balance the blood cell count as necessary.


There are preparations for the immune system, heart conditions, respiratory problems and brain and nerve functions among others, although only three medicines have so far been authorized by the medical authorities.


Doctors claim to have successfully treated 1,000 kidney and gynecological patients in Citokom, a private clinic in the southern Russian town of Krasnodar. However, details of the successes are sparse. There are no known accounts of octogenarians playing basketball, having their hair restored or suddenly becoming wrinkle-free


Made from extractions from tissues and organs of large, horned animals, the citomedinas apparently work without any side-effects.


"They were first invented in the Military Medical Academy and were used by the military," Valentin Komissarov, general director of Citokom told Izvestia. "They saved many boys in Afghanistan. These preparations are working wonderfully, for example, on sailors from the submarines in the Navy hospital.


The Izvestia reporter also claims to have seen at the clinic the "Kremlin pill" so-called by the "old men of the Kremlin" who used it to keep themselves going.