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Mind Reader

Wikicommons

?????°????́?€?????°?‚?? ???‹́???»??: to scan thoughts


A while back an interesting new Russian phrase caught my eye: ?????°?????€?????°?‚?? ???‹???»?? (to scan thoughts). After some research, I discovered that there are three separate usages floating around. The first is actually ?????°?????€?????°?‚?? ?????·???° (to do a brain scan), a medical procedure you do while hoping the technicians won't find anything interesting.

The second is the sci-fi ?????°?????€?????°?‚?? ???‹???»??, as in "?°???µ?€?????°?????????µ ???‡?µ???‹?µ ???°???‡???»?????? ?????°?????€?????°?‚?? ???‹???»?? ?‡?µ?»?????µ???°" (American scientists have learned how to scan a person's thoughts). The kind of person who writes this wears a tinfoil hat to keep those Nosy Parker Americans from invading his brain.

But the third usage is fun — ?????°?????€?????°?‚?? ???‹???»?? as a kind of high-tech way of describing mind reading. Most of this kind of usage is a bit fey, and a lot of it has to do with former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright's purported belief that Russia's mineral wealth is too important to belong to one country.

This bit of nonsense was traced back to a 2006 article in Rossiiskaya Gazeta, in which the author joked that he and his colleagues "???€?????µ?»?? ???µ?°???? ?????????»???‡?µ?????? ?? ???????????·???°?????? ?????????µ???€?µ?‚?°?€?? ???»?±?€?°???‚" (conducted a session of tapping into the subconscious of Secretary of State Albright). While they were roaming around her brain, they "discovered" Albright's view of Russia's mineral resources.

Nine years later, this joke got raised to status of truth, only now in spectacularly garbled form: Nikolai Patrushev, secretary of the Security Council, reminded everyone that Albright once said, "? ?????????? ???µ ???€?????°???»?µ?¶???‚ ???? ?”?°?»???????? ?’?????‚????, ???? ?????±???€??." (Neither the Far East nor Siberia belongs to Russia.) So we started with what several pundits called ?????°?????€?????°?????µ ???‹???»?? and ended with what I call ?????????€?‡?µ?????‹?? ?‚?µ?»?µ?„???? (broken telephone).

In Russian, tapping into someone's mind is more formally called ?‚?µ?»?µ???°?‚???? (telepathy). Judging by dictionaries, attitudes towards ?‚?µ?»?µ???°?‚???? have changed over the decades. In 1910 it was defined as "???°?»?????µ?€?????‚???°?? ???????????±???????‚?? ???µ?????‚???€?‹?… ?»???† ???‰???‰?°?‚?? ?????±?‹?‚????,???‚???°?»?µ?????‹?µ ???‚ ?????… ???€?µ???µ???µ?? ?? ???µ???‚????" (the improbable ability of some people to sense events taking place far away in time and place). But in 2009 another dictionary defined it as "???°???‡???? ???µ ???±?????????‘???????µ ?????»?µ?????µ ???µ?€?µ???°?‡?? ???° ?€?°?????‚?????????µ ?????„???€???°?†???? ?? ???????‚?????????? ???????????? ?‡?µ?»?????µ???° ???€??????????" (the scientifically unexplained phenomenon of transferring at a distance information about the state of one person to another). That is, it exists, but scientists just haven't figured out how it works.

Of course it exists. When you best friend calls you just as you are picking up the phone to call her, you both shout: ?‚?µ?»?µ???°?‚????! (It's telepathy!)

More colloquially this is ?‡???‚?°?‚?? ???‹???»?? (to read someone's thoughts). This is what you insist you can't do when arguing with your significant other: ???‚???????° ?? ?????? ?·???°?‚??, ?‡?‚?? ?‚?‹ ???µ ?…???‡?µ???? ???????‚?? ?? ?€?µ???‚???€?°?? ???µ?????????? ???µ?‡?µ?€????? ?§???‚?°?‚?? ???‹???»?? ?? ???µ ?????µ??. (How was I supposed to know that you didn't want to eat out tonight? I'm not a mind reader!)

A slightly more legitimate form of this is ?€?°?·???°???°?‚?? ???‹???»?? (to intuit someone's thoughts). This is the sort of parlor trick you teach at conventions at $500 a pop: ???????…???»?????? ???±???????????‚ ???°?? ?€?°?·???°???°?‚?? ???‹???»?? ???µ?»?????‹?… ???°?€?‚???‘?€???? ???? ???… ?‚?µ?»?????????¶?µ??????. (Psychologists will explain how to figure out what your business partners are thinking based on their body language.)

Of course, this doesn't work on everyone: ?—?°???°?????‹?µ ?????????µ?€?‚?‹ ?±?µ?·???????µ?????? ???‹?‚?°?µ?‚???? ?€?°?·???°???°?‚?? ???‹???»?? ?????‚?????°. (Western experts have had no success trying to gauge what Putin is thinking.)

But just in case — tinfoil hats all around.

Michele A. Berdy, a Moscow-based translator and interpreter, is author of "The Russian Word's Worth" (Glas), a collection of her columns.

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