In 1928 the men who ran world soccer had an idea. What the game needs, they thought, is a competition to decide which is the best soccer nation on earth; a tournament that would bring together all the world's finest players and, under the supervision of the most august and wise referees, pit them against each other in a spirit of international brotherhood, peace and understanding.Well, they couldn't manage that, so instead we got the World Cup. Not, of course that there haven't been passages of brilliant soccer, the odd flicker of common sense from behind the referees' spectacles and, although it has hardly been encouraged, fleeting moments of sportsmanship. It's just that there has always been another side to the World Cup: a strange, bizarre, often farcical, and at times even darker, side. No event in sport, it seems, has inspired madness on such a global scale as the tournament which FIFA began over 60 years ago.They chose for its inauguration the small South American republic of Uruguay, whose chief claims to fame were political instability and the meat factory at Fray Bentos. The soccer world responded to this news with devastating indifference and, with only two months to go, no one had entered. But the Uruguayans had a way with people who were indifferent. It was called bribery. They offered to pay everyone's expenses and, miraculously, nations started to have second thoughts. Powerful forces were being brought to bear. In Romania, King Carol was at work. He was an enlightened ruler whose first act on ascending the throne was to grant an amnesty to all suspended soccer players and now he personally contacted the employers of all Romania's players to make sure they would get time off for the new tournament. He knew who the players were because he had insisted on picking the team himself.Meanwhile, in downtown Montevideo, swarms of Uruguayans had been engaged to work on the new arena. It was to be called the Centenary Stadium, which was about how long everyone expected its construction to take. But after just eight months it was finished and it was here, on July 18, 1930, that the tournament kicked off.Soon the World Cup had acquired its first hero. He was the United States' trainer, an excitable fellow who, in the match against Argentina, took grave exception to a decision against his team, ran onto the pitch and began waving his arms about and haranguing the referee. His diatribe continued until, with a final theatrical flourish, he flung down his little bag of medicines. This was a mistake. His dramatic gesture had smashed the bag's principal contents -- an economy-sized bottle of chloroform. Its soporific vapors now engulfed him. First he lost the thread of his argument, then his voice and, finally, all but consciousness. His near-comatose body was borne back to the sidelines where it belonged. This was not the last time that a referee's decision had unfurled a strange sequence of events, for the standard of refereeing in that World Cup was decidedly eccentric. In Argentina vs. France, Mr. Alemida Rego of Brazil pulled a brilliant stroke by ending the game six minutes early and the effects must have exceeded his wildest dreams. Delirious Argentine supporters invaded the field and angry French players mobbed Rego, who then tapped his watch, held it up to his ear, consulted his linesmen, recalled the French and decided upon a re-start -- whereupon the Argentine inside-left Cierro promptly fainted.Other referees were not to be outdone. In their next game Argentina beat Mexico 6-3 and most of the credit for this high-scoring fixture must go to one Ulysses Saucedo, a fastidious little official who somehow managed to award five penalties. Meanwhile, another referee, given nominal charge of Chile vs. Argentina, had such spectacular success with his policy of laissez-faire that eventually the Uruguayan police had to mount a full-scale charge to break up the fighting players.For the final between Argentina and Uruguay, FIFA fortunately managed to find a referee who only looked daft. He was a Belgian and took to the field wearing plus-fours, a red-striped tie and a Sherlock-Holmes-style deerstalker hat. In other respects the occasion was much as one might have expected -- death threats to the officials, an armed guard for both teams, soldiers with fixed bayonets encircling the stadium, neither side able to agree on the match ball (in the end they compromised on one half with each ball) and the Argentine supporters chanting "Victory or death." However, after Argentina's 4-2 defeat everyone calmed down and all that happened was that a rampaging mob stoned the Uruguayan consulate in Buenos Aires, the Argentine president was overthrown and relations between the two finalists' soccer associations were broken off and not resumed for seven years.It was now clear that to win the World Cup you needed South Americans in your team -- even if your country was in Europe. So when Italy, the hosts, lined up for the 1934 tournament, they had three, including Monti, Argentina's center-half in the 1930 final. They also had the world's ugliest cheerleader, Il Duce, who taught the team to perform a strange salute before each game. The Italian crowds, too, were embarrassingly over-the-top, baying with a brand of nationalism that might have been said to be more suited to a Fascist rally, were it not for the fact that this is precisely what most of them thought they were attending. The referees were behind them as well and one, a M. Marcet, was so sympathetic to their cause that he was later suspended by his national federation. With all this support, the Italians took the cup.By 1938 they were down to only one Latin in their side; but the Germans had been making notes. Aware that his country's World Cup squad needed strengthening, Adolf Hitler invaded Austria. When the Germans took to the field in France, there among them were four Austrians. For once even Switzerland could not remain neutral and it beat the Teutonic All-Stars 4-2 in the first round. The Germans clearly had a lot to learn about World Cup soccer, as did Poland who adopted a sporting approach, lost 6-5 to Brazil and even sent its conquerors a good-luck telegram for the quarterfinals.The results of Brazil's next game were more in keeping with the spirit of the event -- three men sent off, one broken leg, a broken arm, a host of minor injuries and a draw. But the Brazilian manager did not panic. He only made nine changes in the team for the replay and, having won that, obviously thought he had stumbled on a winning strategy. For the semifinal he made eight changes, including the dropping of his two star forwards, Leonidas and Tim. "They are," he explained, "being rested for the final." Sure enough, when it came to the final they were rested, as were the rest of the Brazilian squad after their 2-1 semifinal defeat. Italy retained the cup.Thus far the World Cup had lacked one element which was to provide more harmless mirth and entertainment than any other in the post-war years -- Scotland. In 1950, accompanied by the now-traditional skirl of self-inflated pipes and egos, it entered -- only to withdraw again as soon as it qualified. It was a brilliant ploy, which allowed England to go off to Brazil and humiliation, and demented men in Glasgow bars to claim a moral victory for the next four years. England's shame, of course, came at the hands of the United States and when the absurd result of 0-1 was flashed to the headquarters of Britain's press in Fleet Street, one newspaper took it as an error and actually printed it as 10-1. The final, deciding match of that tournament was between Uruguay and host Brazil and the South American continent took it in its usual nonchalant stride. Gambling mania seized Rio, Brazil was made 10-1 on favorite, the team was promised a $15,000-a-man win-bonus and a celebratory samba called "Brazil the Victors" was composed. It was never performed. Uruguay won the final, and three of its supporters died of heart attacks while listening to a radio commentary of the game.Four years later came the match between Brazil and Hungary which, even in the sordid annals of the World Cup, still stands out for unbridled acrimony and psychopathic violence. Readers are therefore advised that the following narrative is not suitable for those of a nervous disposition.It was as early as the third minute that the unwholesome nature of the match was set, when Hidegkuti scored for Hungary and was promptly mobbed by the Brazilians, who then tore off his shorts. The tackles rose higher and higher, retaliation became ever more certain and there was a penalty at each end. Somehow the first half was concluded without the infliction of anything more serious than flesh wounds but then, after the interval, things began to turn ugly. Santo and Boszic (a Hungarian member of parliament) were sent off for fighting, at which point the Brazilian trainer ran on to protest, the Swiss police ran on to remove him and the photographers ran on to record the happy scene.Brazil's Tozzi was next to go, but not before he had delayed his departure somewhat by falling to his knees in front of the referee and begging to be allowed to stay. He finally slunk off weeping to the dressing room, where he was later joined by his colleagues at the end of their 4-2 defeat. But the fight had not gone out of them yet. The lights were turned off in the tunnel, the Brazilians invaded the Hungarian dressing room wielding sticks and bottles, and soon a pitched battle was in progress. When order was finally restored, Gustav Sebes had been knocked out, Pinheiro had been cut by a bottle and several others needed treatment.Naturally the world had relied on Scotland to introduce a note of levity into that tournament and it didn't fail, striking deep into its reserves of native ingenuity to make a complete mess of it all. The Scottish Football Association, in particular, rose to the big occasion superbly, devising a selection system which ruled out of the finals its captain and best player George Young. Even so, it only lost its opening game to Austria by one goal. Clearly, further demoralization was required. It arrived just in time when manager Andy Beattie responded to his nation's hour of need by rowing with the association's officials and resigning on the eve of the Uruguay game. It worked a treat. Scotland lost 7-0 and returned home to inaugurate the first of many such inquests. But for once Scotland was not alone in its recriminations. Yet again the format of the competition had been altered to create maximum confusion and Hungary, having beaten the Germans 8-3 in the first round, then lost the final to them by the odd goal in five. It was now the turn of Brazil to dominate the competition. After the unseemly incidents in the last finals, it took the precaution of adding a psychologist to the squad. He was with them in 1958, spending most of his time trying to analyze his players' penciled doodles, while the rest of the teams tried to understand the patterns that these bewildering men were making out on the pitch. With the brief exception of Sweden, no one could and the Brazilians triumphed. They repeated their victory in 1962 and came to England in 1966 so confident that they would win the trophy for a third time, and therefore outright, that they actually had another made to donate in its place, to be known as the Winston Churchill Cup. It was not needed. Brazil and Pele were kicked off the park and the finals instead belonged to England and West Germany. Thanks to a Russian linesman who was able to spot at 50 paces a "goal" the proven legitimacy of which has since defied 30 years of scientific and photographic analysis, England won.The next disputed goal in the World Cup, which came in the 1969 qualifying playoff between El Salvador and Honduras, had rather more complicated consequences. Relations between the two countries had been a bit rocky for some time and, four days before the match, diplomatic ties were dramatically severed. This, however, was as nothing compared with the aftermath of El Salvador's 3-2 extra-time victory. Within 24 hours, war was declared and three days of bitter fighting left 3,000 dead and El Salvador $6 million worse off. The finals were necessarily something of an anti-climax for the team and it played through their group without a win or even a point. Brazil, however, was busy proving how important an experienced manager is to a great team by romping to a third victory, led by a man who had been in the job barely three weeks.In terms of bizarre incident and skullduggery, it had been a strangely subdued World Cup, as was the one in West Germany that followed it. The host won and the tournament was enlivened only by the magnificent gall of the Zaire delegation. At the start of the finals a German company had presented to each squad a luxurious bus, done out in their team colors and designed for their exclusive use during the competition. After Zaire was eliminated, a representative of the company called at the camp to reclaim the vehicle, only to be told that the team had already left and was at this very moment speeding happily down the autobahn towards Africa in their well-appointed new charabanc. Only the efficiency of the local polizei prevented them from reaching the border. It was now plain that for a really entertaining World Cup you needed Scotland to be on top form and in 1978 it was. Inspired by manager Ally Macleod's repeated assurances that it would be champion, Scotland strode out for its first game against Peru, missed a penalty kick and lost 3-1. Macleod was defiant. His message to the World Cup was: "We will win." But the World Cup had a message for him: "What is this Fencamfamin substance we have found in Willy Johnston?" Protesting that the drug was only for the relief of his hay fever, Johnston flew home.Meanwhile, back in Cordoba, Macleod sent out his team against Iran. "We will win," he told them. They drew 1-1. Macleod was now speechless and his team responded to this unexpected boost by beating Holland 3-2. But it was too late and the way was now clear for Argentina to win the cup. Its triumph, however, was not without its contentious moments. To progress to the final, Argentina needed to beat Peru by four clear goals and just because it won 6-0 and Quiroga, the Peruvian goalkeeper, was born in Argentina, some nasty suspicious minds implied that there was something dodgy about the result. Quiroga even had to publish an open letter defending himself against corruption charges. Following these fun and games, Spain and 1982 was almost a letdown. Apart from Italy winning the cup, yet failing to beat Cameroon, El Salvador becoming the first side to concede double figures in a finals game, Kuwait's melodramatic protests and West Germany and Austria's convivial and convenient 0-0 draw, nothing out of the ordinary happened.When it came to Mexico 1986 the Argentine star Diego Maradona was determined to win the cup for his side single-handed. In fact so determined that, during the quarterfinal match his team was losing to England, he rose as if to head towards the England goal and, instead, punched the ball into the net. Amazingly, the goal was allowed. Even more amazingly, when television pictures revealed precisely what had happened, Maradona had the cheek to describe it as "the hand of God." Boosted by the thought that if it could get away with this, it could get away with anything, Argentina went on to win the cup.Yet something deeply disturbing was happening to the World Cup. By the time the final match of the 1990 competition in Italy had been reached, three tournaments had gone by without any real mayhem and ugliness on the pitch. People began to talk. Had sportsmanship began to break out? Were the players going soft? Or had the referees, God forbid, learned the rules of the game?No one need have worried. The final between West Germany and Argentina saw the spirit that the tournament has always been played in reassuringly back to normal. As hundreds of millions watched on television screens around the world, the players cynically fouled and tripped each other up, the refereeing was illogical and confusing and tempers began to fray. The scenes culminated in the referee being mobbed by angry players and two Argentineans being sent off. They were the first to be dismissed in the final and, with this new record set, the World Cup could be proud that its old traditions had been restored.And so we come to the United States for 1994. Of course, the weirdos might stay at home, the referees might actually read the rules, the players behave themselves and games end with a shake of the hand and a sincere word of congratulation from loser to winner. But one rather hopes not. After all, it might then be sport, but it would not be the World Cup.