Michele A. BerdyThe holidays are over, and you are hoping that the price of vegetables has fallen from their are-you-out-of-your-flipping-mind peak on Dec. 31, when eggplants hovered around the 1000-ruble per kilo mark and cucumbers cost as much as platinum. You stop in a grocery shop. The prices have indeed fallen, and that means there's a line — well, not exactly a line, but a lot of people milling about in a loose formation that might, if you squint, approximate a shaggy oblong. You want to know who you are standing behind. So what do you say: ???‚?? ???????»?µ????????? (Who's last?) or ???‚?? ???€?°????????? (Who's at the end?)
If you want to start a fight, ask that question at a party after everyone has had a few drinks. Half the crowd will insist that "???‚?? ???€?°????????" is low-brow and ungrammatical: ??‚?? ???????? ?€?µ?¶?µ?‚ ???»???…, ?‚?°?? ???°?? ???‚?? ???€???±???µ ???°?€?????µ?????µ ???€?°?????» ?€?????????????? ???·?‹???° (It sounds terrible since it's a gross violation of the rules of the Russian language.) The other half will insist that you should never call someone ???????»?µ???????? in any context — it's insulting, like you're calling them the last in the class or a loser. And a few will simply say the word is taboo — apparently pilots, mountain climbers, firemen and people in other high-risk professions avoid the word. They don't want to talk about the last anything without knocking on wood and spitting three times over their left shoulder.
So what's the difference between ???????»?µ???????? and ???€?°????????? Who's right?
???????»?µ???????? means the last in any kind of series — ???????»?µ???????? ???°???? (last chance), ???????»?µ???????? ???µ???? ???° ?€?°?±???‚?µ (last day at work), ???????»?µ???????? ?€?°?· (last time) and yes: ???????»?µ???????? ?? ???‡?µ?€?µ???? (last in line). It can also mean the end of something: ?? ???‚???°?» ???????? ???????»?µ???????µ ???µ???????? ?·?° ???°???????? (I paid the last of my money for a car). Or it can mean final: ?‘???»?????µ ???µ ?±?????? ???±?????¶???°?‚?? ???‚???‚ ???????€????. ??‚?? ?????‘ ???????»?µ?????µ?µ ???»??????. (I'm not going to discuss that issue anymore. That's my final word.)
In literary contexts, it means "the latter": ???€?????»?? ?????°?????? ?? ?????????€????, ???????»?µ???????? ???? ???????µ?? ?¶?µ?????? (Ivanov and Sid??rov came, the latter with his wife.) Or it can mean the last bit of something: ?? ?????‚?????° ???µ?»???‚?????? ?? ???????? ???· ???????»?µ?????µ???? (I'm ready to share my last crust of bread with them.)
And in yet other contexts it has the connotation of bad: ???? ???????»?µ???????? ???µ?????????? (He's the worst scoundrel). And it can mean a loser: ???????»?µ???????? ???°?€?µ???? ???° ???µ?€?µ?????µ (the last guy in the village) means the least successful, least popular, least handsome guy around.
Of course, Russian being Russian, ???????»?µ???????? can also mean just the opposite: the very latest, most chic, or newest model of something. ?? ?‚???»?????? ?‡?‚?? ?????????»?° ???????»?µ???????? ???????µ?»?? ?‚???„?µ?»?? ???‚ ?“???‡?‡?? (I just bought the latest Gucci shoes).
???€?°????????, on the other hand, means the end or edge of something. Sometimes this is "far" in English: ???€?°???????? ???µ???µ?€ (the Far North); ???€?°???????? ?????????°?‚?° — ???µ?‚?????°?? (the farthest room is the nursery.) Or it means something extreme, like ???€?°?????µ?µ ?????·?????‰?µ?????µ (extreme indignation). Or something radical, like ???€?°???????? ???€?°???‹?? (radical right-wing). Or it means the endpoint to something: ???€?°???????? ???€???? is the final, absolute last, not-a-second more deadline.
So what do you say in the store? The phrase "???‚?? ???????»?µ?????????" is perfectly correct, but to avoid insulting, spooking, or jinxing anyone, I'm going to say: ?—?° ???µ?? ?? ?±??????? (Whom am I behind?)
Michele A. Berdy, a Moscow-based translator and interpreter, is author of "The Russian Word's Worth" (Glas), a collection of her columns.