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Knock on Wood

???°?»?????°?‚?? ???€????: to make a mess of things


An attentive reader wondered how it was possible to write about ???µ???? (stump) and ?????»?????° (log) without writing about ???€?????° (cut wood, firewood). Easy! I've assiduously avoided writing about firewood for years. I'm afraid someone will ask what a cord of wood is.

But all right — petulantly hangs head, kicks desk — there are some interesting ???€?????° expressions, so I guess I'll have to do it.

?”?€?????° is cut wood or firewood, related to the word ???µ?€?µ???? (tree), from which it comes. The verbs you use for cutting it are ?????»???‚?? (to split or chop) and ?????»???‚?? (to saw). ???°???? ?????»???‚?? ???€?????° ???? ?????»???????? (You should split wood along the grain.) In Russia you buy it by the cubic meter: ?????µ ?????¶???? ?????????‚?? ?????‚?? ?????±?????µ?‚?€???? ?????…???… ?±?µ?€?‘?·?????‹?… ???€???? (I need to buy five cubic meters of dry birch firewood.)

Russia also has another, very homey measure of wood: ???…?°?????° (armful). It might not be a consistent measure, but it's so standard, it's even in a dream book: ?’?????µ?‚?? ???? ?????µ ???…?°?????? ???€???? ???·???°?‡?°?µ?‚ ???????€?‹ ?? ?»???±?????‹?? ?‡?µ?»?????µ?????? (Seeing an armful of firewood in a dream means you will fight with a person close to you.)

Carrying that armful of wood back into the forest is a Russian way of being redundant — bringing more of what there is already plenty of. ?“?????‚?? ???€?????µ???»?? ???µ???µ?€?‚. ?’ ?‚?°?????? ?????? ???‚?? ?????‘ ?€?°??????, ?‡?‚?? ???€?????° ?? ?»?µ?? ?????·???‚??. (The guests brought desert. In that house, it was like bringing coals to Newcastle, literally "bringing wood to the forest.")

?”?€?????° and ?»?µ?? figure in several other expressions. I like ???‚?? ?? ?»?µ??, ???‚?? ???? ???€?????° — which literally means "some people go into the woods, some people go looking for firewood." But this expression is used to describe people going their own way and not acting in concert. This can refer to chaotic activities that are not coordinated: ???µ?‚ ???±?‰?µ?? ???????‚?µ???‹ ???±?€?°?·?????°?????? — ???‚?? ?? ?»?µ??, ???‚?? ???? ???€?????°. (We don't have a universal system of education — it's all over the place.)

Another wood-and-woods expression is used to describe tough times: ?‡?µ?? ???°?»?????µ ?? ?»?µ??, ?‚?µ?? ?±???»?????µ ???€???? (the further you go, the more complicated it gets; literally, the deeper into the woods you go, the more wood you find). One new mother writes: ?’???‚ ?? ?‚?µ???µ?€?? ???????????°??, ?‡?‚?? ???? ?????»?????????° ?? ?€?µ?±?µ???????? ???‹ ???????±?‰?µ ?¶???»?? ?? ?€?°??! ?§?µ?? ???°?»?????µ ?? ?»?µ??, ?‚?µ?? ?±???»?????µ ???€????-?‚??! (Now I see that the first six months with my baby were like heaven. The older they get, the harder it gets!)

And then in Russian, chopping wood is something of a metaphor for life — or at least some aspects of it. ?“???µ-?‚?? ?? ???????????·???°?????? ?±?‹?»?° ???‹???»??, ?‡?‚?? ?¶?µ???‚?????????‚?? ???µ???·?±?µ?¶???‹ ???€?? ?±???»???????… ?????‚???€???‡?µ???????… ?????±?‹?‚?????… — ???€?????° ?€???±???‚, ?‰?µ?????? ?»?µ?‚???‚. (Somewhere subconsciously I had the notion that cruelty was unavoidable during momentous historical events — when you cut wood, the chips will fly.)

But still, chopping wood is better than breaking it with your hands. The phrase ???°?»?????°?‚?? ???€???? (literally "to break up firewood") means to make a hash of something — unadvisable in the office: ?? ?????? ???°?»?????°?‚?? ???€???? ???° ?‚?‹?????‡?? ?????»?»?°?€???? (I could screw things up and cost the company thousands of dollars.)

However you get it, you want a pile of dry firewood cut to fit your stove. You might buy a cord of it. A cord is — big smile — about 3.62 cubic meters.

Michele A. Berdy, a Moscow-based translator and interpreter, is author of "The Russian Word's Worth" (Glas), a collection of her columns.

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