?“?µ?????€?€????: hemorrhoid, pain in the butt
It is Friday and you have to get seven signatures on 14 documents from three ministries situated at opposite ends of the city — all by the end of the day. It is Saturday night and you are standing on a shaky ladder, pawing through the junk in the ?°???‚?€?µ?????»?? (under-the-ceiling storage space), looking for a pair of boots that you shoved up there six months ago. It is Sunday and you are sitting on the floor with three electronics manuals open, trying to set up your new home theater.
In Russian, all these unpleasant, time-consuming, uncomfortable and annoying tasks can be summed up in one word: ???µ?????€?€????. This is literally a hemorrhoid and figuratively anything that is a pain in the butt.
Being something of a specialist in misery-inducing tasks, I have concluded that ???µ?????€?€???? and pain in the butt are not exact equivalents. The English pain in the rear is often a person, and ???µ?????€?€???? is almost always a thing or activity. In English, the pain is something or someone difficult and annoying, while the Russian pain generally has the added connotation of being tedious. But still, when you want to verbally explode about some incredibly annoying task, ???µ?????€?€???? is a great word to reach for. ?? ???°?? ???€???‰?µ ???????»???‚?? ?µ???? ?? ???·?±?µ?¶?°?‚?? ???µ?????€?€???? (It is easier for us to fire him — otherwise it is an incredible pain in the butt).
If you are more polite than I am, you might prefer other terms to describe miserable people and problems. For example, ?·?°???????·?????°, which has the now rather obscure literal meaning of a plug and the more common figurative meaning of a hitch or catch. ?’???‚ ?? ?‡?‘?? ?·?°???????·?????°! There's the catch! ?? ???µ?‘ ???‚?»???‡???‹?? ?????»???? ?? ?????µ?????????‚??, ?·?°???????·?????° ?‚???»?????? ?? ?‚????, ???°?? ???€???±???‚?????? ???° ?±???»???????? ???†?µ????, ?µ???»?? ?¶?????‘???? ?? ???€?????????????µ?(She has got a great voice and she is pretty, but there's one hitch — how can she get on stage in the big city if she lives in Nowheresville?) It can also be an annoying problem: ?????‚ ?? ???‚???? ???µ?»?µ ???µ?€???‘?·???°?? ?·?°???????·?????°, ?‡?????‚?? ???€???????‡?µ?????°?? (There is a huge stumbling block in this matter — a purely legal problem).
If you don't like that word, you can try ?·?°?????€???‡???°, which comes, dimly, from the word for darkness. ?—?°?????€???‡???° can be an annoying task or problem: ?’ ???‚???? ?°???€???????€?‚?? ?‚?‹ ?·?°?????‚?°?µ????????, ?‚?°?? ?????????? ?·?°?????€???‡???? (You will get lost in that airport — the place is a real mess). ?—?°?????€???‡???? can also be a person's obsessions or mindset. ?’?????‚?? ?? ???±?€?°?·, ?·?°?±?‹?‚?? ???€?? ???µ?±??, ???€?? ?????µ ???????? ?·?°?????€???‡???? ?? ?±?‹?‚?????‹?µ ???€???±?»?µ???‹ ?? ???€???¶???‚?? ?????????? ?¶???·???? ?…???‚?? ???° ???†?µ???µ ― ?µ???‚?? ?? ???‚???? ?????€???????‹?? ???°???„. (It is an incredible thrill to forget about yourself, your weird ideas and everyday problems as you get into a role and live a new life on stage).
You might also choose a related word, ?????€?????°, which can refer to an annoying and time-consuming task: ?????€?°?????? ???°???? ?€?°?·???‹?µ ?????±???€?°?‚??, ?° ???‚??, ???????µ?‡????, ?????€?????° (I have to collect a bunch of documents, and of course that is a real pain).
?????€?????° should not be confused with ?????€???? (something dark or crazy-making) or ???°?€???????? (Morocco), even though people will try to throw you off: ???°???°?? ?????€?????° ?? ???‚???? ???°?€????????! ???°???‚?????‰???? ?????€????! (What a mess with Morocco! It's a step into the abyss!)
When they try that on you, just say: ???µ ?????€???‡?? ?????µ ?????»??????! (Don't mess with my head!)
Michele A. Berdy, a Moscow-based translator and interpreter, is author of "The Russian Word's Worth" (Glas), a collection of her columns.